This is my actual

Triple Bypass

1997

Like I said before, my "heart " condition didn't affect my daily life for seventeen years.

A clogged artery usually affects you like this:

If you have a clogged artery your heart muscle doesn't get enough Oxygen (thru blood supply) and you experience "angina" which is a fancy name for the pain that you get in the chest. Once the pain starts, you know you've been asking too much of your body and you just have to stop doing whatever it is that caused the pain to begin. Simple! You stop...the pain stops...all is well. Simple! It went on like this for 17 years! You don't get a heart attack like this because you stop doing whatever it is long before you are in any danger. What a life! And I never had a heart attack.

Then in 1997 I started noticing that it took "less" stress to bring on the pain. Obviously something had changed. The doctors did what doctors do and then told me that indeed there had been a change. My 90% blockage had gone to 100% and there were now 2 more blocked areas. Okay!. Now it was time for that bypass operation.

What a trip!! It's amazing. In and out in just 5 days! They cut you from just where that "V" is at the top of your ribs to just a bit past the end of your ribs. Then they cut you down your leg to "borrow" a vein to splice into the bad places. This part leaves a scar about 2 1/2 feet long down your leg. (So much for my career as a high fashion runway model!) Afterward, your rib cage is wired back together like a spiral notebook.

When you come out of this procedure you look like you've been hit by a BUS! And, amazingly, a week later you're walking out of the hospital - albeit clutching a small pillow to your chest for fear you might cough and split open. (Actually, coughing is nothing compared to sneezing! Reason: sneezes sneak up on you when your pillow isn't at the ready. They don't tell you this. They just give you the cute little pillow and push you out the door on Friday. You learn it rather quickly, though.) And they don't sew you up anymore....they GLUE you back together. Yes I said GLUE!!

Catheter Tip of the Day: when anyone in hospital clothes says to you,

"Take a deep breath" - run like hell.

Whatever it is, it's going to hurt.

After a while the operation pain goes away and they tell you: OK....you no longer suffer from the condition you came in with. You're cured. You're fixed. Go have a normal life. You may now engage in any exercise or other regimen you wish. Go run the mile.

EXCUSE ME!!! I haven't done anything physical for 17 years. That was the deal. Those were my instructions. I am now a PROFESSIONAL RELAXER!! What do you think I can do now? You fixed my heart, not my legs. They've spent most of the last 2 decades propped up on the coffee table!

So now my task is to lose the extra 50 pounds I've accumulated. (I've lost the first 37 already!) And then maybe I'll be able to exercise. And watch for me in the 2010 Olympics!! (I'll be the one watching from home)